Immanuel,
thank you that you are God with us
even in our final good-byes.
Thank you for the ebbing of life,
which is as holy as its birth,
even with all the indignities
that infirmities bring.
Thank you for loved ones gathered,
for memories shared and savoured,
and for quiet vigils,
sweeter than all words,
where all we do is breathe.
And at the stillest moment of all,
We love you in the manger, Jesus.
Your little hands and feet,
your soft breathing,
your eyes closed in sleep.
You may be a revolutionary,
but we like our revolutionaries in diapers.
Forgive us, Lord,
for preferring a Saviour that doesn’t talk;
a Saviour that has no words of judgement
for our callousness to the suffering of others,
whose arms aren’t tossing over tables,
whose feet aren’t leading us to Jerusalem.,,,
Lord, I am an instrument of your peace.
Where there is self-hatred, let me sow love;
where there is negative self-talk, kindness;
where there is loathing of my body, acceptance;
where there is nursing of old injuries, release;
where there is envy of others, gratefulness;
where there is perfectionism, humanness.
O Divine Mother, grant that I may not so much seek
to be self-hurting, as self-healing;
to be self-denying, as self-cherishing,
to be numb, as to feel.
For it is in being loved by you, that I know I am lovable;
through your confidence in me, I confidently face each day,
it is in being yours now and eternally, that I live in peace.
Thank you for the gift of music,
for melodies and harmonies, for voices of every pitch.
Thank you for composers and poets,
for instruments and musicians.
Music is the soundtrack of our lives,
it delights us and helps us express our deepest emotions.
You give each of us a song to sing each week:
we confess that we abandon your score,
giving up your loving notes in favour of our own tune.
We fail to harmonize with those around us.
We want to be part of the work you are composing,
Joy may be like a fountain,
but it has no on/off switch.
We can’t manufacture joy
or produce it on demand.
Running after joy is
like running after the wind;
you can’t catch it.
Joy is wild and treasured,
like a rare shy bird
that suddenly appears.
It can be fleeting,
or its presence can rest with you…
I was always captivated by
“Once upon a time”:
the magical invitation
into a world not mine.
The world of giants and talking animals,
the world of spies and zookeepers,
pirates, pioneers and pilots–
I followed them through deserts and oceans,
deep space, rush hour traffic,
mountains and subterranean caverns.
I puzzled things out with Nancy Drew,
yearned for justice with Black Beauty,
cried with Jane Eyre,
Words dance into space
bouncing off satellites:
my voice rocketing
through the stratosphere here
and ricocheting into your ear there.
Your thumbs type text
and even as you press send,
I receive your message.
Across the miles
the image of your presence
hovers on my screen,
our voices intertwining on this internet.
My grandparents were as proud
God of the afflicted:
On this anniversary of [the Montreal massacre
where a man who declared feminists his enemy
opened fire in a school,
killing fourteen, wounding fourteen]
on this day we turn to you.
We pray for healing for all affected by acts of terror.
Terror from a bomb, or a gun,
or a knife, or a rope, or a body,
terror from any force poised for cruelty….
You know what happened next.
Be with all who are picking up,
God of hope.
be with all tonight
who are waiting for a miracle.
Waiting for God,
waiting for justice,
waiting for a diagnosis,
waiting for a phone call,
waiting for a job,
waiting for death,
waiting for inspiration,
I am a Mennonite pastor currently teaching theology at Conrad Grebel University College in Waterloo, Ontario. I’ve served congregations in Ontario and most recently, Alberta.
I love to write and to lead worship! If you are finding my writing helpful, I would love to hear from you! Feel free to use or adapt the material here, it is all written by me. If printing material, please credit “Copyright Carol Penner www.leadinginworship.com” (and say whether you modified it). If publishing, please contact me for permission. Contact me at carol@leadinginworship.com
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