My life is a guesthouse
and each day brings its visitors.
Years of regular customers,
rational and sensible,
ordered and predictable—
they cause no trouble.
Steady Contentment, calm Happiness,
busy Industry, pleasant Enjoyment.
Every once in a while Temper checks in,
turning the whole house upside down for a while,
but he doesn’t stay long…..
This is the wrong good-bye.
At thirty, death stands on the threshold
ghoulish as an x-ray
staring straight through all our hopes and plans.
We will not welcome this grim usher
who comes before the play’s half-done.
Against the injustice,
against the desperation,
against the running out of time,
against the fear of my body’s demise,
against all these,
Love stands.
We crave your presence, Lord,
even in the wrong good-bye.
In the hospital for sick seniors
each pillow cradles a face
framed with white hair
underscored by bony knuckles
clutching white sheets.
Bodies, getting older together
join in a choir of symptoms;
the deep voice of bones broken
the tenor of organs failing
the soft alto of senses dulling
On the day fear parks itself in my throat;
when the mountain to be climbed
is the next twenty-four hours
and my ears already echo
with the news I do not want to hear;
as my stomach plummets
and fear pick-axes my heart;
while my mind careens
from possibility to possibility;
as the edges of my known world crumble,
I am a Mennonite pastor currently teaching theology at Conrad Grebel University College in Waterloo, Ontario. I’ve served congregations in Ontario and most recently, Alberta.
I love to write and to lead worship! If you are finding my writing helpful, I would love to hear from you! Feel free to use or adapt the material here, it is all written by me. If printing material, please credit “Copyright Carol Penner www.leadinginworship.com” (and say whether you modified it). If publishing, please contact me for permission. Contact me at carol@leadinginworship.com
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