Bitterness, like some evil intravenous
drips into each day
from a clear bag of memories.
He said, she said,
he did, she did,
he was, she was.
Daily, nightly, a steady dose
poisoning the soul.
Too many times the body convulses
shaken with anger
racked with sorrow
God, you know I hold my family together:
balancing the needs of everyone,
the schedules of everyone,
the health of everyone,
juggling each ball with dexterity
and not dropping one, not one.
I give thanks for strength and stamina.
But there’s a haunting sense
that I’ve reached my limits
and that even this camel’s back
will not take one straw more.
One morning will I stand on the road
O God of ages,
be with me in my old age.
When death stares me in the face,
back me up.
When sickness diminishes my powers
and I become someone I don’t recognize,
know me through and through.
When my fears consume me,
be a steady centre.
Eternal God, lover of us all,
stay close to my side.
As you knit me together in my mother’s womb,
watch tenderly over this unravelling.
My self, loosed from independent living,
loosed from mobility,
We invested in goods to sell in the trade city of Jericho
and I walked the long journey with my loaded donkey.
I stopped that last night at an inn
poised on the edge of Jericho’s wilderness valley.
The neighbours at my table did not look promising;
holy men who carried scrolls not knives,
shabby companions on this last stretch
where you need someone who will stand firm beside you,
someone good for a fight.
That next morning I left the inn alone,
the dawn just crowning;
Money talks.
The money we give to you today
speaks of our identity as your children,
tells of our commitment to follow Jesus,
proclaims your Spirit’s generous presence here.
God of all good gifts,
hear our thankfulness in these offerings. Amen.
My friends, look for Jesus!
Seek him as a treasure in this great wide world.
Seek him in the eyes of your loved ones
and in the eyes of strangers.
May your heart burn within you
as the Lord draws close to you this week.
For what we are about to receive,
may the Lord make us truly thankful.
We pray today for all who are too jealous to be thankful,
who complain, “Why do they get everything?”
and who are always comparing themselves with those who have more.
We pray for all who have forgotten how to say thank you;
who have gotten used to saying, “I earned this,”
and who truly feel they have only themselves to thank.
We pray for all who are too busy to be thankful;
who asked themselves this morning, “Do I have time to go to church?”
Little girl, welcome to this house of worship
and to the community of faith.
Prayers have surrounded you these many months
as we waited expectantly for your safe arrival.
Little girl, you are a magnet for our love,
a compass that points to your Creator.
We are drawn to your fresh beauty,
fascinated by your personality, newly-minted….
Crippled by a mind
that sees menace in every corner
and malice in every look,
the anguished soul cries, “No more.”
At the last,
her sigh a white flag,
cheek resting on her hand,
weary beyond measuring,
I am a Mennonite pastor currently teaching theology at Conrad Grebel University College in Waterloo, Ontario. I’ve served congregations in Ontario and most recently, Alberta.
I love to write and to lead worship! If you are finding my writing helpful, I would love to hear from you! Feel free to use or adapt the material here, it is all written by me. If printing material, please credit “Copyright Carol Penner www.leadinginworship.com” (and say whether you modified it). If publishing, please contact me for permission. Contact me at carol@leadinginworship.com
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